Jack of all Days

Patently Unfair: What is good for the goose should be good for the gander, but apparently not in Florida where two girls at a high school football game were kicked out for painting their bodies to show school spirit, even though boys with painted bodies were allowed to stay. School district policy states that it is up to administrators to decide whether something is appropriate or not and in this case, the principal decided that the girls’ outfits were not appropriate. Once the girls came in, there were a number of people who came up to the principal, the assistant principal and other school administrators who were very upset over their appearance, school spokeswoman Margi Nanney said. “We have never had complaints about the men or the boys.”

An Evolutionary Reason for Men to Keep Their Pants Zipped: Men have it tough: they age faster and die younger than women. Now research suggests that this trait could be linked to humankind’s ancestral breeding habits. Casual observations had previously suggested that polygyny (sex with several partners at one time) is a common characteristic among species in which males die younger than females, including red deer, lions, elephant seals (and people). In more monogamous species, including Bewick’s swans and meerkats, a gender-related lifespan difference is not seen. The more polygynous a species was, the more short-lived the male is likely to be.

Cool Balloon: At the annual International Balloon Fiesta in Albuquerque, N.M., the star balloonist has his own security detail: Storm troopers. Belgian Benoit Lambert’s hot-air balloon, in the shape of Darth Vader’s mask, is harder to navigate than traditionally shaped balloons. But Lambert says he flies confidently because “the force is with us.”

Swearing is Good For You, God Damn It: Swearing at work helps employees cope with stress, academics at a Norfolk university have said. A study by Norwich’s University of East Anglia (UEA) into leadership styles found the use of “taboo language” boosted team spirit. Professor Yehuda Baruch, professor of management, warned that attempts to prevent workers from swearing could have a negative impact. But Professor Baruch discouraged swearing in front of customers.

Modified people: This frightening picture speaks for itself. Click here if you want to see more. (Warning, could cause nightmares.)

Naked, Tickling, Peeing Bandit Caught: A 50-year-old man arrested after police said he urinated into milk and left bodily fluids inside a home is believed to be the naked bandit who has terrorized women for years by sneaking into their homes and tickling sleeping victims in central Florida. (Do all weirdos come from Florida?) Police said Thomas Blacine was arrested over the weekend when a police dog tracked his scent to a sport utility vehicle parked near the 700 block of East Second Street after a woman said she was fondled in her sleep. Investigators said Blacine’s actions fit the modus operandi of a man they have been hunting since 2004 in connection with more than 12 naked intrusions into Central Florida homes.

Another Kook from Florida: A city council candidate in Hialeah, Fla., is on the defensive after being criticized for referring to oral sex in one of his campaign slogans. Hialeah City Council incumbent Jose ”Pepe” Caragol, 76, used the slogan “If you like oral sex, vote Caragol for council” as part of his campaign for re-election, The Miami Herald said Saturday. Caragol said the slogan represents his unusual style and that he never intended on offending anyone. “People want to give it a negative interpretation, but anyone who knows me and my way of being knows that I didn’t mean for the comment to degrade or offend anyone,” he told the Herald.